I'm at the hostel and it's my last night in Australia, tomorrow I fly to San Diego to continue my adventure. I leave Australia with a greater awareness of the amazing world of the amazing people around me. I leave humbled by how much more I've yet to do... In spirit of starting a new chapter with my life, I'm closing this blog... at least for awhile. I don't anticipate that to be a huge disappointment to anyone, I don't even know how many people read this, but that's not the point.
It's served its two main purposes of keeping me connected to you while overseas and providing a different means for me to explore my perspectives while here. Of all the many 'take aways' from my time here, one has been a glimpse into all of the kick ass things there are to do in this world. So many crazy experiences to have. I have an appreciation for all that I've done, and an even greater desire towards all that I want to do.
The main question I have after making this dream of mine happen: What the hell took me so long to get here; what else am I putting off that could be as good as or better than this? So in that spirit of desire, I thought I'd close this blog with a journal I did sometime ago during my stay here.
Thanks for your company, all is Love, dare to dream.
"God asks, 'Ryan, do you love me?'
I stare, think, stop, 'That's a good question... why do you ask?'
And my heart continues, 'For you surely already know the answer; you know it more assuredly than I do. So why DO you ask, because I truthfully do not know. I think I do, I want to, I think I want to, but I pause when I go to respond. How is it that I can want, to DESIRE, to love another, when I'm not even sure what that entails?
I don't believe I've experienced that DESIRE to love another HUMAN BEING... there's been a desire for the human, physically or emotionally, but not a desire for the love, at least according to my senses - although with my new focus on the feelings instead of the person that perspective seems to be changing. But perhaps that's all one in the same. Perhaps the DESIRE for love is where divinity really rests, not the love itself, or lack there of, but that space between... I think we can agree that the desire for love and not the desire for the individual is what is supreme.
The people and creations of this world are God's and God is Love... some would say desire separates the two; others would say it links the two. Feelings and non - feelings... our experience is God's experience... through Him we are given life, and through us He gives Himself... contrast... perspective... desire. In my humble human eyes the all-knowing, all-powerful, all-pervasive existence of God can't know that powerful feeling of desire save through the experiences of His creations. For me, the phrase "Seize the day" or "Live like you're dieing" takes on new meaning in this context. It's powerful to want, to dream, and it's divine to pursue those ends... even in the smallest, seemingly insignificant ways.
Lord give me wonder and give me awe, give me a touch of folly. I don't want answers, only to let me know your Love in new ways, everyday."
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Moving on
It's good to be free again. My brother and parents have made their trecks back home after their successive two week visits. And was it ever an amazing time. This isn't to say I'm happy to be 'rid' of my family. Not at all, but my time here has really started to come full circle. It felt good saying so long to my parents as they hopped in the cab watching me walk away not having a clue as to where exactly I was going. I felt comfortable this time though. I wasn't nervous, or unsure of myself the way I was my first night in New Zealand... an entirely different anticipation and excitement for what's to come. So yes, it's good to be free again. Free of my apartment, free of classes, free to explore on my own accord. Interesting thing is we're always free of that stuff, we just make excuses so they get in our way.
Patrick's week here flew by. We did the bar thing here and there, met some locals, laughed, and just enjoyed each others company. Though I should have expected this, it was strange how natural it was for him to be off exploring the otherside of the world with me. We picked up right where we left off, as brothers naturally would, but before he got here I was expecting some overwhelming sense of "Hot damn I can't believe you're here!" And that sense was there, but it was more calm cool and collected, more, "Yeah, this is pretty cool, this is good, this works." Same thing happened with my parents.
So over the past few weeks we drove a couple thousand Kilometers in a gigantor 20 foot wide RV Winnebago. I distinctly remember calling my parents warning them that alot of those camper vans are manual transmissions. They didn't seem too concerned about it. So when my dad and brother weren't back at 3:00 in the afternoon with the mamoth van, I called the rental company and learned it was picked up at 11:30 that afternoon. After a few other phone calls to the police and to their cell phones, I arrived back at my apartment to see my dad chuckling and grinning from ear to ear, my mom laughing at the hell we were surely about to unleash on the roads of Australia, and Patrick cowering upstairs, clutching a bible, refusing to speak about the afternoons events until the end of his time here. It was gonna be a great time (ahem, the RV was a manual transmission, with a crappy first gear).
We all took our chances in trying to learn to drive a manual - something that I've never been privey to before, but let Dad do most of the driving the first day. It took us two hours to get out of Sydney because I sent us in the wrong direction, and then the helpful homeless people started making enlightening comments like, "Learn the f*cking rules of the road asshole!" while walking through the cross walk which we were half way blocking due to multiple stalls and missed green lights. That time the people behind us didn't seem to honk all that much, which was a nice reprive from the normal symphony of horns we heard. I thought Sydney-siders used their horns alot when I was just walking down the side walk. Try being on the road during rush hour when no one has a damn clue what the rules are, let alone how to safely drive the vehicle. Dad relayed a few more stories about how he wasn't the only guy that wanted to "Beat my American ass"
You know that song, "I'm your venus, I'm your fire, your desire..." or whatever it is? They use it for a ladies razor I believe? We went on a little day cruise out to some islands to see the sights and do some snorkeling (which was absolute paradise), and low and behold the owner of the boat was the drummer for the band that wrote that song. Can't remember what they're called. But I just like those stories. What I like even better is that he sold his business, but his entire life savings and then some into his dream to build the very boat that we were riding on. He lives on it with his wife (at least I think that's what she was) and comes and goes as he pleases. Travels the world. He was caught in a Hurrican with that ship before. He is one sweet dude, so was the misses... that whole day was amazing.
So we drove some 20 plus hours north to some warm weather. Made some great stops along the way, and saw amazing scenery as well. A few nights we just parked along side of the road to recooperate from the wonderfully exciting day. If it was up to Patrick we would have driven straight through, the man's a machine, and by the end an expert driver. I let everyone else do most of the driving at first because I wanted them to get as much practice in as possible. I'm just considerate like that, but then my hand was forced and I got to tackle Sydney on our way home. By the end I was declaring my self a master driver and king of the world. I dominated the road... I'm guessing I only took out about two or three side view mirrors.
My dad, I see him as a sort of social genius. I'm not really too sure how he does it, but the man can just start talking to people and make friends. We met some blokes in Coffs Harbour one night when we innocently poked our heads into this irish bar looking for some dinner; two glasses of Jamison later, dad came back from his aimless wanderings and invited my mom and I over to their table and the drinks started flowing. It was an amazingly fun night. We made plans to go fishing the next morning and everything, but couldn't because the RV was due back in Sydney the next day (some 10 hrs away).
Dad bought me a fishing pole. Luckily enough because he dropped his into the Ocean one night when he was fishing off of the rocks. I just finished reading Cannery Row by... wow my memory fails me... John Steinbeck. One of the characters in it was a warm hearted, minding your own business but trouble seems to find him kinda guy named Mac. Dad met another guy while fishing named Mac who I envisioned as much like the character in the book. The real Mac did carney work for a living. He had a bad accident with a circular saw, mucking up a bunch of tendons in his wrist, so he didn't have good functioning in his hand, makes finding alot of work challenging. He claimed to be out there fishing every night until two in the morning, and were it not for the crazy weather the following nights I'm sure he would have been. He was a marine hobbyist, used to have like a 100 gallon fish tank, which was great for me because that meant we could actually talk about something. He told me about all of the crazy fish he used to have, he new a supplier that hooked him up with all of his stuff. It was nothing I needed to know, or particularly wanted to know, but it was a great time nonetheless. I didn't catch any fish that night. All in all, the time with my parents was freakin sweet. One for the record books. So many small little stories.
Now, I'm on my own again. I'm out on my own, with no one to answer to but myself, no homebase save the one on the other side of the world, and no worries in general. I've got a job lined up for the next two weeks, and then I head home to visit some quality people, and I transition from this phase of my adventures to the next with another glorious week of Eagle U.
Life is grand.
Patrick's week here flew by. We did the bar thing here and there, met some locals, laughed, and just enjoyed each others company. Though I should have expected this, it was strange how natural it was for him to be off exploring the otherside of the world with me. We picked up right where we left off, as brothers naturally would, but before he got here I was expecting some overwhelming sense of "Hot damn I can't believe you're here!" And that sense was there, but it was more calm cool and collected, more, "Yeah, this is pretty cool, this is good, this works." Same thing happened with my parents.
So over the past few weeks we drove a couple thousand Kilometers in a gigantor 20 foot wide RV Winnebago. I distinctly remember calling my parents warning them that alot of those camper vans are manual transmissions. They didn't seem too concerned about it. So when my dad and brother weren't back at 3:00 in the afternoon with the mamoth van, I called the rental company and learned it was picked up at 11:30 that afternoon. After a few other phone calls to the police and to their cell phones, I arrived back at my apartment to see my dad chuckling and grinning from ear to ear, my mom laughing at the hell we were surely about to unleash on the roads of Australia, and Patrick cowering upstairs, clutching a bible, refusing to speak about the afternoons events until the end of his time here. It was gonna be a great time (ahem, the RV was a manual transmission, with a crappy first gear).
We all took our chances in trying to learn to drive a manual - something that I've never been privey to before, but let Dad do most of the driving the first day. It took us two hours to get out of Sydney because I sent us in the wrong direction, and then the helpful homeless people started making enlightening comments like, "Learn the f*cking rules of the road asshole!" while walking through the cross walk which we were half way blocking due to multiple stalls and missed green lights. That time the people behind us didn't seem to honk all that much, which was a nice reprive from the normal symphony of horns we heard. I thought Sydney-siders used their horns alot when I was just walking down the side walk. Try being on the road during rush hour when no one has a damn clue what the rules are, let alone how to safely drive the vehicle. Dad relayed a few more stories about how he wasn't the only guy that wanted to "Beat my American ass"
You know that song, "I'm your venus, I'm your fire, your desire..." or whatever it is? They use it for a ladies razor I believe? We went on a little day cruise out to some islands to see the sights and do some snorkeling (which was absolute paradise), and low and behold the owner of the boat was the drummer for the band that wrote that song. Can't remember what they're called. But I just like those stories. What I like even better is that he sold his business, but his entire life savings and then some into his dream to build the very boat that we were riding on. He lives on it with his wife (at least I think that's what she was) and comes and goes as he pleases. Travels the world. He was caught in a Hurrican with that ship before. He is one sweet dude, so was the misses... that whole day was amazing.
So we drove some 20 plus hours north to some warm weather. Made some great stops along the way, and saw amazing scenery as well. A few nights we just parked along side of the road to recooperate from the wonderfully exciting day. If it was up to Patrick we would have driven straight through, the man's a machine, and by the end an expert driver. I let everyone else do most of the driving at first because I wanted them to get as much practice in as possible. I'm just considerate like that, but then my hand was forced and I got to tackle Sydney on our way home. By the end I was declaring my self a master driver and king of the world. I dominated the road... I'm guessing I only took out about two or three side view mirrors.
My dad, I see him as a sort of social genius. I'm not really too sure how he does it, but the man can just start talking to people and make friends. We met some blokes in Coffs Harbour one night when we innocently poked our heads into this irish bar looking for some dinner; two glasses of Jamison later, dad came back from his aimless wanderings and invited my mom and I over to their table and the drinks started flowing. It was an amazingly fun night. We made plans to go fishing the next morning and everything, but couldn't because the RV was due back in Sydney the next day (some 10 hrs away).
Dad bought me a fishing pole. Luckily enough because he dropped his into the Ocean one night when he was fishing off of the rocks. I just finished reading Cannery Row by... wow my memory fails me... John Steinbeck. One of the characters in it was a warm hearted, minding your own business but trouble seems to find him kinda guy named Mac. Dad met another guy while fishing named Mac who I envisioned as much like the character in the book. The real Mac did carney work for a living. He had a bad accident with a circular saw, mucking up a bunch of tendons in his wrist, so he didn't have good functioning in his hand, makes finding alot of work challenging. He claimed to be out there fishing every night until two in the morning, and were it not for the crazy weather the following nights I'm sure he would have been. He was a marine hobbyist, used to have like a 100 gallon fish tank, which was great for me because that meant we could actually talk about something. He told me about all of the crazy fish he used to have, he new a supplier that hooked him up with all of his stuff. It was nothing I needed to know, or particularly wanted to know, but it was a great time nonetheless. I didn't catch any fish that night. All in all, the time with my parents was freakin sweet. One for the record books. So many small little stories.
Now, I'm on my own again. I'm out on my own, with no one to answer to but myself, no homebase save the one on the other side of the world, and no worries in general. I've got a job lined up for the next two weeks, and then I head home to visit some quality people, and I transition from this phase of my adventures to the next with another glorious week of Eagle U.
Life is grand.
Monday, June 25, 2007
Pootypablo and the Olympics
I know what you're thinking. WAIT. First of all, for those of you out of the know, Pootypablo is also known as my brother (the twin) Patrick N. Bannan. He's also known as Beetle (as in Beetle Bailey) and other various names which I will not get into here.
I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Oh, Pootypablo and the Olympics, Ryan is probably gonna make some lame heartless joke about the Special Olympics." But you're WRONG. They're completely unrelated topics.
1) The PatMan himself is FINALLY here. He has been here for 26 hours and I have already laughed more then I have in the past 5 months of being here. It's GLORIOUS I tell you! So grateful to have the family I do because they rock my socks off, bitches.
2) I just had one of the most amazing conversations of my life with a guy who plays volleyball in the Olympics, is a professional speaker, and has all kinds of other crazy business ventures in the works. Speaking of the Special Olympics, inspiring-ly enough, this man I just talked to draws a lot of his inspiration from his mentally handicapped brother who despite his challenges, was the picture of what is happiness and joy in this world. So many people have so much more than that young man and we don't do what we are capable of to really take advantage of this gift we were given... reminds me of the father who does marathons and iron man competitions with his handicapped son - and still finishes at the top of the pack (you can find something about that on google or you tube - pretty inspiring stuff). The guy I just talked with is Andrew McCombe, and I'm going to plug his website and business now because that half hour conversation did great things to change my perspectives on life, and he gave me some great tools to make my dreams happen. www.activateyourlife.com - check it out. And if you like that, well even if you don't like that, you should also check out www.coachedbypatrick.com - I am a personal growth junkie, and this stuff is powerful, plain and simple. DO IT.
3) Did I mention Patrick is here? The man's hilarious. He's probably thinking about something ridiculously funny right now, and the average person would never know it. Yup.
You have a fantabulous day dear friend.
Radical Ryno
I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Oh, Pootypablo and the Olympics, Ryan is probably gonna make some lame heartless joke about the Special Olympics." But you're WRONG. They're completely unrelated topics.
1) The PatMan himself is FINALLY here. He has been here for 26 hours and I have already laughed more then I have in the past 5 months of being here. It's GLORIOUS I tell you! So grateful to have the family I do because they rock my socks off, bitches.
2) I just had one of the most amazing conversations of my life with a guy who plays volleyball in the Olympics, is a professional speaker, and has all kinds of other crazy business ventures in the works. Speaking of the Special Olympics, inspiring-ly enough, this man I just talked to draws a lot of his inspiration from his mentally handicapped brother who despite his challenges, was the picture of what is happiness and joy in this world. So many people have so much more than that young man and we don't do what we are capable of to really take advantage of this gift we were given... reminds me of the father who does marathons and iron man competitions with his handicapped son - and still finishes at the top of the pack (you can find something about that on google or you tube - pretty inspiring stuff). The guy I just talked with is Andrew McCombe, and I'm going to plug his website and business now because that half hour conversation did great things to change my perspectives on life, and he gave me some great tools to make my dreams happen. www.activateyourlife.com - check it out. And if you like that, well even if you don't like that, you should also check out www.coachedbypatrick.com - I am a personal growth junkie, and this stuff is powerful, plain and simple. DO IT.
3) Did I mention Patrick is here? The man's hilarious. He's probably thinking about something ridiculously funny right now, and the average person would never know it. Yup.
You have a fantabulous day dear friend.
Radical Ryno
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Inspiration comes in many forms
Of all the crazy things that can inspire us and amuse us in the world, our friends and family far surpass anything else that I've come across which might be considered even mildly entertaining. There are a few people in our lives, well, a load of them in mine, and I'm sure in yours if you take a second to think about the uniqueness of each person you've met, that have so much character to them.
Life for me has become a whole lot more entertaining when I stop and appreciate the kinds of wacky characters that are in my life. Namely, but definately not limited to, the better looking version of me, my brother Patrick, who's going to be here in a few days. This is his latest email reply to me in response to my proposed itinerary I sent to him:
"Boy, you're amazing. This is weird, but I'm a little scared this trip
is going to fly by so fast superman couldn't catch it. I'm shitting my
pants I'm so excited."
Gotta love the characters. My family is full of them, which, if I can say so myself, is pretty derned Radical.
- the Rhinocerous
Life for me has become a whole lot more entertaining when I stop and appreciate the kinds of wacky characters that are in my life. Namely, but definately not limited to, the better looking version of me, my brother Patrick, who's going to be here in a few days. This is his latest email reply to me in response to my proposed itinerary I sent to him:
"Boy, you're amazing. This is weird, but I'm a little scared this trip
is going to fly by so fast superman couldn't catch it. I'm shitting my
pants I'm so excited."
Gotta love the characters. My family is full of them, which, if I can say so myself, is pretty derned Radical.
- the Rhinocerous
Monday, June 18, 2007
Sunflower seeds
I'm amazed at how just a few handfuls of unsalted sunflower seeds can maintain your energy levels throughout the day. What a glorious snack I've stumbled upon! I may have recently become addicted to novels by John Steinbeck. Better than TV (except for House, and movies on TV are exempt as well... as long as they don't have stupid commercials).
....
Ok that's all. Make it a great day.
....
Ok that's all. Make it a great day.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Oh yeah,
That last post was never meant to be about my beard. WHOA what a tangent. It was about how the younger dude was saying hi, and then today on my way to school I passed a grown man and we both WHISPERED "hey", only it was more like "eh", as we passed each other in a 3 foot wide alley with no one else in the vicinity. CAN'T LET ANYONE KNOW YOU'RE BEING FRIENDLY SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! People are interesting. How hard is it to say in a clear and concise way, "Well hello there kind Sir, you have a jolly good day now!" It doesn't seem that hard... seems kinda weird when I put it like that I guess, but whatever...
Walking by saying HIIIIIIII!!!!
Back in the old days, when I was a wee young lad, around the ripe age of middle school, I was a rather gregarious fellow. That is if the definition of gregarious works for the description I'm going for... Let's see... Yep that'll do. I was a gregarious young fellow, belching out HI, and HELLO, and HOWDY, and HOLA, and pretty much whatever the hell else you can think of that mean's "hi". One of my buddy's got me a card that had a billion ways to say hi on it because I was always saying "hi" to anyone and everyone who would, and wouldn't, give me attention. I think he was talking shit, but that's besides the point.
Some little dude gave me one of those friendly shoutouts the other day, only here it's more like "AYE!", or... "EYE!" But I could be wrong because people also say that when they can't understand a damn word that's commin outta your mouth. I think he felt connected with me because we both had facial hair. He had a rat like mustache we commonly see pre-pubescent boys on stereroids with. He had a rat like, 13 year old stereroid mustache that was thicker than the entire conglomerate... wait... dictionary... I find the best way to learn words is by attempting to use them... and risking making a fool of yourself because that is definately not the word I was looking for... unless you consider the colors. I've got some reds, I've got some blondes, I've got some browns, I've got it all baby. Sorry. Back to my story. He had more mustache hair than I did on my entire face.
I was at some German bar the other night and some dude started yelling "CARNEY!! CARRRRNNEEY!" In a really obnoxious, gruff, joking manner to one of his other buddies. He was either making reference to my beard, or he was making reference to my beard. I find that to be HILARIOUS. Mostly because it brings me back to the good old Curwood Days... makes me feel connected to home (tear). But enough about me... I think I'll actually make an attempt at talking about something other than myself next time I write.
Some little dude gave me one of those friendly shoutouts the other day, only here it's more like "AYE!", or... "EYE!" But I could be wrong because people also say that when they can't understand a damn word that's commin outta your mouth. I think he felt connected with me because we both had facial hair. He had a rat like mustache we commonly see pre-pubescent boys on stereroids with. He had a rat like, 13 year old stereroid mustache that was thicker than the entire conglomerate... wait... dictionary... I find the best way to learn words is by attempting to use them... and risking making a fool of yourself because that is definately not the word I was looking for... unless you consider the colors. I've got some reds, I've got some blondes, I've got some browns, I've got it all baby. Sorry. Back to my story. He had more mustache hair than I did on my entire face.
I was at some German bar the other night and some dude started yelling "CARNEY!! CARRRRNNEEY!" In a really obnoxious, gruff, joking manner to one of his other buddies. He was either making reference to my beard, or he was making reference to my beard. I find that to be HILARIOUS. Mostly because it brings me back to the good old Curwood Days... makes me feel connected to home (tear). But enough about me... I think I'll actually make an attempt at talking about something other than myself next time I write.
Random Observation
Do you ever find yourself doing type racing? I do. And the person next to me is doing it right now to - and I'm totally kicking her ass, although I think she get's more points for better accuracy. I'm a backspace whore I suppose. Although on Mac's it would be a delete whore. I like those comercials. They're quite ingenious. A dopey, vaguely similar dude to Bill Gates, and your average joe cool, familiar face on the street guy. There are a number of social psych principles I see there... really in any advertising. But anyways. The type racing. I'm still winning, but you wanna know why I'm winning?
Because I'm a silent typer. AND. I'm not... what is it. Chicken pecking? I don't know the term. I'm not even looking at the key board. She is. Shit son. And the only reason she seems like she's going so fast, and thinking that she's so much BETTER at typing than everyone else in the room is because she's about the most intense typer I've ever seen. Hunched over, staring a hole in the key board, and then jerking her head up and down in a seizure like motion to make sure she got the right key. WHOA look at her head move back and forth, left to right, searching for those keys! I must say it's impressive. But it only sounds fast because I'm pretty sure she's trying to karate chop the key board with her fingers. WHAM BAM POW POP POP! Yup. I'm a silent typer. Graceful. Cool. Calm, content, and connected. I am one with my computer, in this glorious lab of computers filled with studies, myspace, and some - oh holy shit I just got really nervous that she started reading my page. Whoa that was scary. There really could be few worse things on the face of the planet than finding out that someone is talking shit about you on a computer... One worse thing that comes to mind is actually being the one to talk shit. I'm not actually TRYING to judge anyone, more or less just amusing myself... good talk Ryan. Way to validate your anti-social behavior.
Cheers to you.
Because I'm a silent typer. AND. I'm not... what is it. Chicken pecking? I don't know the term. I'm not even looking at the key board. She is. Shit son. And the only reason she seems like she's going so fast, and thinking that she's so much BETTER at typing than everyone else in the room is because she's about the most intense typer I've ever seen. Hunched over, staring a hole in the key board, and then jerking her head up and down in a seizure like motion to make sure she got the right key. WHOA look at her head move back and forth, left to right, searching for those keys! I must say it's impressive. But it only sounds fast because I'm pretty sure she's trying to karate chop the key board with her fingers. WHAM BAM POW POP POP! Yup. I'm a silent typer. Graceful. Cool. Calm, content, and connected. I am one with my computer, in this glorious lab of computers filled with studies, myspace, and some - oh holy shit I just got really nervous that she started reading my page. Whoa that was scary. There really could be few worse things on the face of the planet than finding out that someone is talking shit about you on a computer... One worse thing that comes to mind is actually being the one to talk shit. I'm not actually TRYING to judge anyone, more or less just amusing myself... good talk Ryan. Way to validate your anti-social behavior.
Cheers to you.
Friday, June 8, 2007
Wicked Weather
The weather has been pretty wild here the past few days. Incredibly rainy... well further north it's been crazy, it just got really windy and rainy here yesterday. A huge barge got stuck on a sand bar and has basically been pushed up onto some public beach in Newcastle; worries of the waves breaking it apart overnight were all over the news reports last night. Roads have been washed out in flooding, and people are missing from cars being swept down rivers where roads once travelled.
Weather is daunting. But I like it. Not to disregard the people and families who have been aversely affected by such weather, I give them all of my love. There's still some kind of guilty pleasure and fascination I have with inclimate weather. Is inclimate a word? Should I look it up on a dictionary site? Am I being overly lazy right now because I don't feel like doing so?
The sublime power it has. The feeling of smallness it can make one feel. The vastness of the universe it reminds you of. Walking to uni today I was reminded of those scenes - walking to uni Ryan? I thought you were done with classes? OH BUT I AM! However I still have two papers to write and two exams to take... which is why I'm not doing them right now (?).
Walking to uni today, amistd the litter of leaves and branches, unmoving from the howling wind because they're so saturated with rainwater, I saw unbrellas tossed lifelessly in gutters, bushes, trees, in the middle of the sidewalk, and on doorsteps. They were opened, closed, half way mangled, upside down, rightside up, and even entirely destroyed. Like fallen soldiers from the previous night's battle, I envisioned the umbrella's owners trying to do nothing more than get home, only to flip out at the last umbrella inverting gust of wind that spays that innocent individual in the face with a cold blast of air and sheet of water.
I'm finding myself wondering if I made the analogy of fallen soldiers because I watched a war movie last night. I also find myself (I think) not enjoying the war movies quite so much because my cousin is overseas playing bang bang right now (I think), as are family members of so many other people. Interesting point for me to ponder.
The umbrella warriors throw down their umbrella in disgust and desperate frustration at the weakness and lack of courage their thankless umbrella has shown. Reminiscent of those scenes in Forest Gump and Bruce Almighty, as Leutenant Dan sits atop the boat lookout being swalled by the treacherous seas challenging God; and Bruce screams defiantly into the sky, "Smite me you almighty smiter!" Or whatever it was he said... Tossing their spent comrades to the side, the umbrella warriors scream psychotically into the stormy evening air, soaked to the bone, and continue onto their fateful journey home towards warmth and comfort - If they are infact as blessed as you or I to have some place to shelter themselves for the night.
Jazz festival tomorrow. Hot dog, can't wait!
Weather is daunting. But I like it. Not to disregard the people and families who have been aversely affected by such weather, I give them all of my love. There's still some kind of guilty pleasure and fascination I have with inclimate weather. Is inclimate a word? Should I look it up on a dictionary site? Am I being overly lazy right now because I don't feel like doing so?
The sublime power it has. The feeling of smallness it can make one feel. The vastness of the universe it reminds you of. Walking to uni today I was reminded of those scenes - walking to uni Ryan? I thought you were done with classes? OH BUT I AM! However I still have two papers to write and two exams to take... which is why I'm not doing them right now (?).
Walking to uni today, amistd the litter of leaves and branches, unmoving from the howling wind because they're so saturated with rainwater, I saw unbrellas tossed lifelessly in gutters, bushes, trees, in the middle of the sidewalk, and on doorsteps. They were opened, closed, half way mangled, upside down, rightside up, and even entirely destroyed. Like fallen soldiers from the previous night's battle, I envisioned the umbrella's owners trying to do nothing more than get home, only to flip out at the last umbrella inverting gust of wind that spays that innocent individual in the face with a cold blast of air and sheet of water.
I'm finding myself wondering if I made the analogy of fallen soldiers because I watched a war movie last night. I also find myself (I think) not enjoying the war movies quite so much because my cousin is overseas playing bang bang right now (I think), as are family members of so many other people. Interesting point for me to ponder.
The umbrella warriors throw down their umbrella in disgust and desperate frustration at the weakness and lack of courage their thankless umbrella has shown. Reminiscent of those scenes in Forest Gump and Bruce Almighty, as Leutenant Dan sits atop the boat lookout being swalled by the treacherous seas challenging God; and Bruce screams defiantly into the sky, "Smite me you almighty smiter!" Or whatever it was he said... Tossing their spent comrades to the side, the umbrella warriors scream psychotically into the stormy evening air, soaked to the bone, and continue onto their fateful journey home towards warmth and comfort - If they are infact as blessed as you or I to have some place to shelter themselves for the night.
Jazz festival tomorrow. Hot dog, can't wait!
Sunday, June 3, 2007
Living in the present
So this past weekend - scratch that, this past Saturday I spent somewhere around the vicinity of 100 bucks... mostly on booze and a complete lack of foresight, but boy was it a good day. My roomates and I started off the day heading to a wine / food festival over in Manly, which is funny because of how much the city's name parallels my character traits... BUT, moving on, they had these sweet little wine glass holders that you buttoned around the glass and then wore around your neck so you wouldn't have to hold it. Getting that was the highlight of my day. We ran into some friends, grabbed a bottle of wine from the bottle shop and listened to the band that was playing into the cool fall breeze coming off of the Pacific Ocean. The sun went down, the music died down, the temperature cooled, the wine warmed our bellies, and the hot dancing brazilian women made me think, "Wow, I really like hot dancing brazilian women".
The wine we walked around tasting was like $200 a bottle and up. We were tempted to get a box of goon (that's basically Franzia), but decided to remain tactful and drank our $14 bottle of wine wrapped ever so candidly in a brown paper bag. The music was great. We headed down to the city after that and started walking approximately 500 miles to and fro at various clubs, where I began the senseless spending spree on all that is beery in this world. Have I mentioned how much better the beer is here than back home? It is. I hope my old flame Coors Light doesn't get resentful when I return. We ended the night heading to Pancakes 24/7 (a.k.a. Heaven on Earth) where I wisely decided to go wander aimlessly by myself to the bar we passed along the way instead of waiting in line. It was some spanish bar that I clearly didn't belong at for two reasons: One, everyone was salsa dancing. And two, EVERYONE, in the entire bar, was salsa dancing - it was about 3 in the morning by now.
Nothing one more beer can't take care of (if you're a complete fool). On the bright side some Australian girl started *trying* to dance with me as she grabbed my hand spinning herself around. I wasn't sure if it was my mad dancing skills or her general inability to stand up straight that prompted her to order us two Jack and Cokes... on my tab. What the hell is she thinking. I don't drink that shit. I want a beer. Ohhhhh good, the bartender just opened up an 11 dollar bottle of some German crap. So after the Aussie girl was done complaining about me paying $25 instead of the full $30 for the drinks I never wanted in the first place, ON HER BIRTHDAY NONETHELESS, I moseied over to comfortable place on the wall to enjoy my drinks. Bitch bitch bitch... it wasn't her birthday. It was a good time though, took a few mental notes for my next go at salsa dancing (...right...), and then some dude walked by and bumped my drink right as I was having another sip. That damn Jack and Coke chipped my tooth. It was time for me to head home. That German beer was tastey... I think.
Now, the truth of the matter is that I can't afford any evening out on the town like that, for a number of reasons, namely my health. I haven't drank like that in ages, I've really cut back on the amount of drinking I do here, which has been great, but every so often... ah what the hell, right? Found out my parents are actually going to come here, they got their plane tickets that morning and called me on their way out to visit Pat, who apparently is moving to another place, which I wasn't aware of because I haven't heard from anyone in my family in a wee little while, baring that brief conversation with my parents. That vacation will be SWEET. We're going to do the backpacker thing. My mom has even volunteered to give some hostels a try, and Dad, well, that loveable guy is spending money. Haha, all he was saying is, "Your Mom is so excited, and I... I just can't believe we're going." That amuses me. This is quite possibly going to be the coolest vacation with my parents ever, I wish the whole family could come. Hot damn can't wait. I miss Logan. Katie tells me he has learned the word 'no' which, when I think of an afternoon together with him and Sean... well. That could be the funniest experience on the face of the planet. I can't wait to get home and see those guys.
And that brings me to my present point. Some lady gave me the best advice today. Ok not some lady, an old highschool teacher of mine who's a freakin superhero. It's funny. You can hear the same old stuff from so many different people, but then one person just says it in some way that's like... "HEY THAT'S A FRICKEN BRILLIANT IDEA!!" It's nothing new, but it just works. It's like, "What the hell, what has MY problem been?" Cheers to her for that, I wasn't even aware that I needed to hear it, but I did. I've been having a great, wild time here, but these last few weeks I've just been feeling stressed about stupid crap. And I say screw you stress! Live in the present, you can keep an eye on the future, but don't worry so much about the money, classes, friendships, girls, and so on kinda crap. I'm in freakin Australia, and classes are done this week... which means my adventures will begin a new again vewy vewy soon. This class stuff has been gettin to me. Time to crank out some papers. Live in the present. Rock a doodle doo.
Radical.
The wine we walked around tasting was like $200 a bottle and up. We were tempted to get a box of goon (that's basically Franzia), but decided to remain tactful and drank our $14 bottle of wine wrapped ever so candidly in a brown paper bag. The music was great. We headed down to the city after that and started walking approximately 500 miles to and fro at various clubs, where I began the senseless spending spree on all that is beery in this world. Have I mentioned how much better the beer is here than back home? It is. I hope my old flame Coors Light doesn't get resentful when I return. We ended the night heading to Pancakes 24/7 (a.k.a. Heaven on Earth) where I wisely decided to go wander aimlessly by myself to the bar we passed along the way instead of waiting in line. It was some spanish bar that I clearly didn't belong at for two reasons: One, everyone was salsa dancing. And two, EVERYONE, in the entire bar, was salsa dancing - it was about 3 in the morning by now.
Nothing one more beer can't take care of (if you're a complete fool). On the bright side some Australian girl started *trying* to dance with me as she grabbed my hand spinning herself around. I wasn't sure if it was my mad dancing skills or her general inability to stand up straight that prompted her to order us two Jack and Cokes... on my tab. What the hell is she thinking. I don't drink that shit. I want a beer. Ohhhhh good, the bartender just opened up an 11 dollar bottle of some German crap. So after the Aussie girl was done complaining about me paying $25 instead of the full $30 for the drinks I never wanted in the first place, ON HER BIRTHDAY NONETHELESS, I moseied over to comfortable place on the wall to enjoy my drinks. Bitch bitch bitch... it wasn't her birthday. It was a good time though, took a few mental notes for my next go at salsa dancing (...right...), and then some dude walked by and bumped my drink right as I was having another sip. That damn Jack and Coke chipped my tooth. It was time for me to head home. That German beer was tastey... I think.
Now, the truth of the matter is that I can't afford any evening out on the town like that, for a number of reasons, namely my health. I haven't drank like that in ages, I've really cut back on the amount of drinking I do here, which has been great, but every so often... ah what the hell, right? Found out my parents are actually going to come here, they got their plane tickets that morning and called me on their way out to visit Pat, who apparently is moving to another place, which I wasn't aware of because I haven't heard from anyone in my family in a wee little while, baring that brief conversation with my parents. That vacation will be SWEET. We're going to do the backpacker thing. My mom has even volunteered to give some hostels a try, and Dad, well, that loveable guy is spending money. Haha, all he was saying is, "Your Mom is so excited, and I... I just can't believe we're going." That amuses me. This is quite possibly going to be the coolest vacation with my parents ever, I wish the whole family could come. Hot damn can't wait. I miss Logan. Katie tells me he has learned the word 'no' which, when I think of an afternoon together with him and Sean... well. That could be the funniest experience on the face of the planet. I can't wait to get home and see those guys.
And that brings me to my present point. Some lady gave me the best advice today. Ok not some lady, an old highschool teacher of mine who's a freakin superhero. It's funny. You can hear the same old stuff from so many different people, but then one person just says it in some way that's like... "HEY THAT'S A FRICKEN BRILLIANT IDEA!!" It's nothing new, but it just works. It's like, "What the hell, what has MY problem been?" Cheers to her for that, I wasn't even aware that I needed to hear it, but I did. I've been having a great, wild time here, but these last few weeks I've just been feeling stressed about stupid crap. And I say screw you stress! Live in the present, you can keep an eye on the future, but don't worry so much about the money, classes, friendships, girls, and so on kinda crap. I'm in freakin Australia, and classes are done this week... which means my adventures will begin a new again vewy vewy soon. This class stuff has been gettin to me. Time to crank out some papers. Live in the present. Rock a doodle doo.
Radical.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Horses, lifeboats, libraries, and personal growth.
I just got out of a meeting with a Social Psychologist here who has been the most accomodating person I've met here yet. He offered to write me a letter of recomendation and I spoke to him for like 20 minutes. Yay for me.
I just discovered the glories of the library. All too often I've used that place for silly things like class assignments when I could have been saving boat loads of money by checking books out instead of buying them. Not to mention the random books I can pick out that just stir my interest. My latest reads that I can't wait to delve into? The Ecological Self by Freya Matthews, and What Number is God by Sarah Voss. Only draw back is that I can't write all over the pages... or CAN I?
I was going to type about Lifeboat ethics and another one of those ever so engaging personal growth epiphanies I had the other day, but that's just not gonna happen. What I will tell you is that I have reinvigorated my strong attraction to betting on things like horses and greyhounds. That shit's addicting man. I finally got to the horse track for my first time EVER this past weekend, and while I didn't win anything, I could totally see myself spending a whole day there... making wise investments. Reminded me of the olden days when I drove down to Alabama with Randall O. and we went to the greyhound races... We broke the rear breaks and almost crashed the burban like five times towing a boat back but we made it home safe and sound. WHOOOOO DOGGY! Good times, good times. I wonder if the Burban is still a member of our family. I can't believe they would get rid of it without telling me. I need to write something creative. Cheers and beers!
- The Ryno.
I just discovered the glories of the library. All too often I've used that place for silly things like class assignments when I could have been saving boat loads of money by checking books out instead of buying them. Not to mention the random books I can pick out that just stir my interest. My latest reads that I can't wait to delve into? The Ecological Self by Freya Matthews, and What Number is God by Sarah Voss. Only draw back is that I can't write all over the pages... or CAN I?
I was going to type about Lifeboat ethics and another one of those ever so engaging personal growth epiphanies I had the other day, but that's just not gonna happen. What I will tell you is that I have reinvigorated my strong attraction to betting on things like horses and greyhounds. That shit's addicting man. I finally got to the horse track for my first time EVER this past weekend, and while I didn't win anything, I could totally see myself spending a whole day there... making wise investments. Reminded me of the olden days when I drove down to Alabama with Randall O. and we went to the greyhound races... We broke the rear breaks and almost crashed the burban like five times towing a boat back but we made it home safe and sound. WHOOOOO DOGGY! Good times, good times. I wonder if the Burban is still a member of our family. I can't believe they would get rid of it without telling me. I need to write something creative. Cheers and beers!
- The Ryno.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Psychology, the Environment, and Spirituality: A potential career pathway...
Taken from a paper by Oliver Straigton. Ecopscychology and spirituality: Essential factors in sustainability? IEST 5004 Environmental Research Project. pg. 3. Via personal email correspondence on 5/22/07
"Spirituality is deemed important for sustainability for [4] main reasons:
1. A re establishment of the psychospiritual connection between humanity and the planet would be an essential feature of any efforts in sustainability. To be [a] successful venture, sustainability requires that it is the overarching theme in ALL aspects of human activity and interaction with the environment meaning that action on all levels of society is motivated by the full understanding that we are part of and not apart from the natural world.
2. At present the rational paradigm in which we live is grossly unsustainable because it is morally and ethically uninformed and many thinkers have argued that one of the essential features in achieving sustainability is a moving away from rationalisation of nature in to commodities and us into consumers, denying the spiritual and mysteries of the universe, cheapening human life and encouraging self definition in consumerist terms.
3. Participation in modern industrialised societies is spiritually unfulfilling and results in over consumption, materialism, and the environmentally destructive effects of these. A spiritually aware society and economy offers the opportunity to seek true fulfilment and happiness thereby negating the need for over consumption.
4. Spiritual renewal and the development of higher human traits of love, compassion, honesty and love are seen as a means to transcend divergent and conventionally unsolvable sustainability problems."
"Spirituality is deemed important for sustainability for [4] main reasons:
1. A re establishment of the psychospiritual connection between humanity and the planet would be an essential feature of any efforts in sustainability. To be [a] successful venture, sustainability requires that it is the overarching theme in ALL aspects of human activity and interaction with the environment meaning that action on all levels of society is motivated by the full understanding that we are part of and not apart from the natural world.
2. At present the rational paradigm in which we live is grossly unsustainable because it is morally and ethically uninformed and many thinkers have argued that one of the essential features in achieving sustainability is a moving away from rationalisation of nature in to commodities and us into consumers, denying the spiritual and mysteries of the universe, cheapening human life and encouraging self definition in consumerist terms.
3. Participation in modern industrialised societies is spiritually unfulfilling and results in over consumption, materialism, and the environmentally destructive effects of these. A spiritually aware society and economy offers the opportunity to seek true fulfilment and happiness thereby negating the need for over consumption.
4. Spiritual renewal and the development of higher human traits of love, compassion, honesty and love are seen as a means to transcend divergent and conventionally unsolvable sustainability problems."
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Yippee Ki Yi YAAAAAAAAAY!
Remember the movie Con Air? It's one of the great American Classics... staring Nicholas Cage. (No really I think that is a glorious movie.) Anyways. I have that song stuck in my head. I know it's a very well known song and I should be aware of who actually is the original artist for it, but I don't. It goes like this (I hope you appreciate my singing voice):
"He's got the whole world, in his hands, he's got the whole wide world, in his hands, he's got the whole world, in his hands, he's got the whole - world - in - his - hands..."
I'm also pretty sure there are way more words then the variety I've shared with you. Way to go on the memory today RYAN! Ok. So it's the part where the little girl is having tea time with the psycho murderer (crimeny what's that actors name?) And they both start singing. Now, I wish the context of the situation wasn't quite so bleak, because after all it is a psycho murderer singing in the middle of a desert with a little girl who is all by herself. But nonetheless, if you can imagine the happy version of that song, that's the one that's stuck in my head.
I just rocked out with a super sweet presentation on environmental ethics, and I just found out I'll be getting to talk with a mentor tomorrow about my goals. Strangely, this week and the past one have been unusually... non - luminous (?) for me. AH! I've been out of the flow, that's what I was looking for. Ebb and Flow Ryno, Ebb and Flow. It's good to be back on the up and up, into the flow of things. Life has so many cycles it can take you through... great stuff.
I dominated the Blue Mountains last week AGAIN. Met some more really great people, went rappelling, had some laughs, did some hikes, developed further plans for my world reign... wrestled with some kangaroos? Cuddled with some Koalas... Honed my superhero skills... ahm, yep I think that covers it.
Sometimes I get in these really... 'interesting' moods where I feel a remarkable amount like Patrick. I don't know how else to describe it... hahaha, that's HILARIOUS. Anyone who knows Pootypablo for who he really is could be slightly concerend right now. They're thinking, "OOOOh boy..."
"He's got the whole world, in his hands, he's got the whole wide world, in his hands, he's got the whole world, in his hands, he's got the whole - world - in - his - hands..."
I'm also pretty sure there are way more words then the variety I've shared with you. Way to go on the memory today RYAN! Ok. So it's the part where the little girl is having tea time with the psycho murderer (crimeny what's that actors name?) And they both start singing. Now, I wish the context of the situation wasn't quite so bleak, because after all it is a psycho murderer singing in the middle of a desert with a little girl who is all by herself. But nonetheless, if you can imagine the happy version of that song, that's the one that's stuck in my head.
I just rocked out with a super sweet presentation on environmental ethics, and I just found out I'll be getting to talk with a mentor tomorrow about my goals. Strangely, this week and the past one have been unusually... non - luminous (?) for me. AH! I've been out of the flow, that's what I was looking for. Ebb and Flow Ryno, Ebb and Flow. It's good to be back on the up and up, into the flow of things. Life has so many cycles it can take you through... great stuff.
I dominated the Blue Mountains last week AGAIN. Met some more really great people, went rappelling, had some laughs, did some hikes, developed further plans for my world reign... wrestled with some kangaroos? Cuddled with some Koalas... Honed my superhero skills... ahm, yep I think that covers it.
Sometimes I get in these really... 'interesting' moods where I feel a remarkable amount like Patrick. I don't know how else to describe it... hahaha, that's HILARIOUS. Anyone who knows Pootypablo for who he really is could be slightly concerend right now. They're thinking, "OOOOh boy..."
Thursday, May 10, 2007
IIIII am writing a lot of papers right now....
"People think that their thinking is what helps them. Thinking is like any other tool. The right amount of it at the right time is useful, but too much is destructive and polluting" - David Cameron Gikandi
"Become aware of your self-talk and stop it. Look around. See the world as it is, without commentary and judgement. Don't think. Wait. At the right time your spirit will give you the appropriate thought." - D.C. Gikandi
I've been working pretty hard lately. Working hard but playing hard. Ok, working too hard - thinking too much. Is it possible to try too hard... hmm no I don't believe so, good hard work is a vibrant tool to life. But we can try to control too much. We can be inpatient. We can become too focused and too immersed in a particular challenge or life issue. We can stress it and ourselves to such a point that we choke off any flow of life, of creative brilliance, of joy.
But I'm learning. I'm starting to feel a welcome shift in my psyche that when I'm enjoying my 'work' (for instance right now) its the best work I can be doing (oh WHAT a revelation). Yes, for me it is quite a revelation; it's one thing to say you understand that previous sentence and to actually personify it's intended meaning and feeling. Quite a departure from my old self who had somehow gotten the idea (as I realize in retrospect) that 'real work' can't be enjoyable... so wrong.
That meditation class I started, I'm only two classes in and already I'm not feeling quite so 'jackass-ish'. Crazy awesome feelings after I'm done with it; that class along with advise from books, mentors, and other intuitive messages I've gotten from my surroundings have all been saying the same thing: Relax and chill the freak out (Remember Rule Number 6?). I'm a laid back guy, but I've gotten into this mindframe where I feel like I always need to be doing something. That's changing and it feels pretty dern good.
I FINALLY GOT A PHONE AGAIN. I enjoyed not having one because it allowed me to get lost in my own little world for pretty much a solid month... I'm actually not too sure what to think about my missing a phone so much... hmm. Whatever. I can call people now. Yippee.
People here are great. Classes here are awesome. It's taken a bit but I'm finally getting to know some Aussies through group work and what not. It's been really surprising to me how many Americans are here. Cool though.
Hmm. I'm going to the Blue Mountains again this weekend with a bunch of study abroad people... really pumped because I haven't been outside of the city since spring break. I'd really like to get out a bit more, so I'm gonna have to see how this whole cash flow thing works out. There are officially 3 more weeks of classes left. That is simply shocking. I don't intend to countdown, I'm not a countdown type of guy, never have, and I thought I never would, but GEEEZE I'm just having a hard time getting a grip on that idea of leaving. I'm still here though. That's three weeks I get to rock out with friends here, and about a month or so more that I get to really be crazy on my own. I'm one blessed dude.
Yep. I'm feeling pretty linguistically enabled right now. Kidding. No more shitty computer technology crap for me. It's time to go outside to play.
Ten - four, over and out.
Oh yeah. My Environmental Philosophy class - ROCKS MY FRIGGEN WORLD. Good talk people.
"Become aware of your self-talk and stop it. Look around. See the world as it is, without commentary and judgement. Don't think. Wait. At the right time your spirit will give you the appropriate thought." - D.C. Gikandi
I've been working pretty hard lately. Working hard but playing hard. Ok, working too hard - thinking too much. Is it possible to try too hard... hmm no I don't believe so, good hard work is a vibrant tool to life. But we can try to control too much. We can be inpatient. We can become too focused and too immersed in a particular challenge or life issue. We can stress it and ourselves to such a point that we choke off any flow of life, of creative brilliance, of joy.
But I'm learning. I'm starting to feel a welcome shift in my psyche that when I'm enjoying my 'work' (for instance right now) its the best work I can be doing (oh WHAT a revelation). Yes, for me it is quite a revelation; it's one thing to say you understand that previous sentence and to actually personify it's intended meaning and feeling. Quite a departure from my old self who had somehow gotten the idea (as I realize in retrospect) that 'real work' can't be enjoyable... so wrong.
That meditation class I started, I'm only two classes in and already I'm not feeling quite so 'jackass-ish'. Crazy awesome feelings after I'm done with it; that class along with advise from books, mentors, and other intuitive messages I've gotten from my surroundings have all been saying the same thing: Relax and chill the freak out (Remember Rule Number 6?). I'm a laid back guy, but I've gotten into this mindframe where I feel like I always need to be doing something. That's changing and it feels pretty dern good.
I FINALLY GOT A PHONE AGAIN. I enjoyed not having one because it allowed me to get lost in my own little world for pretty much a solid month... I'm actually not too sure what to think about my missing a phone so much... hmm. Whatever. I can call people now. Yippee.
People here are great. Classes here are awesome. It's taken a bit but I'm finally getting to know some Aussies through group work and what not. It's been really surprising to me how many Americans are here. Cool though.
Hmm. I'm going to the Blue Mountains again this weekend with a bunch of study abroad people... really pumped because I haven't been outside of the city since spring break. I'd really like to get out a bit more, so I'm gonna have to see how this whole cash flow thing works out. There are officially 3 more weeks of classes left. That is simply shocking. I don't intend to countdown, I'm not a countdown type of guy, never have, and I thought I never would, but GEEEZE I'm just having a hard time getting a grip on that idea of leaving. I'm still here though. That's three weeks I get to rock out with friends here, and about a month or so more that I get to really be crazy on my own. I'm one blessed dude.
Yep. I'm feeling pretty linguistically enabled right now. Kidding. No more shitty computer technology crap for me. It's time to go outside to play.
Ten - four, over and out.
Oh yeah. My Environmental Philosophy class - ROCKS MY FRIGGEN WORLD. Good talk people.
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Today my professor was talking about aluminum windows. He called them eah-loo-min-ee-um windows on several occasions, with an emphasis on 'min'. My mind. It's filled with all sorts of wacky information. I tried buying a simple little paper back book the other day and it would have costed me like 32 bucks. I found a slightly used one on Amazon for like A buck. No shipping to Aussie land though. Ammm. I started a meditation class yesterday. We were doing all these weird movements and all that I could think to myself was that I was in Australia - the other side of the world - and here I am - making a jackass out of myself - trying to 'learn' how to meditate - by flailing my arms and legs about - next to three hot little babies (and some old ladies, middle aged dudes, and one gypsy, but who's paying attention to that anyways). What the crimeny Ryno, what the crimeny. So long story short, I enjoyed the class and am looking forward to the next one. Radical? In my own special way I do believe so.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
HELLOOOOOOOO!
Wow, I didn't even realize the time that went by since my last post. With classes finishing up back home I'm sure everyone else is in the "My how time does fly" mode themselves, I wish you all the best on your tests.
Boy it is trippy to think that many of my friends won't be back next year with me, but at least I've still got a few little buggers to hang out with.
For the record, that last post was an entirely hypothetical situation. Nothing happened to me, although I appreciate the concern for those who were worried, or even simply just curious as to what inspired that babble. I did however find out that it would be waaaaaaaay more dangerous for me to dive (because of my good old previously collapsed lungs) than for many other people.
Which reminds me of one of my many simple pleasures in life. I actually do appreciate my lungs having collapsed. Aside from the spiritual implications of dealing with minor health issues as such, I at times am afforded to have the HUGEST smile on my face and best feeling in my body simply by taking a huge deep breath.
It goes like this: Ryan is sitting down staring at a wall. Ryan has an idea! Ryan takes a giant, deep, gigantor breath filling and stretching his lungs to the max. Ryan holds it for just a little bit, and then breaths out. Ryan gets a huge satisfying smile plastered on his face. Ryan is content while staring at the wall, and amused that he is so grateful he doesn't have to struggle to breath.
Yup, that's the good shit.
Ahm, so my life has still been rocking. I've been reading like CRAZY. I had the epiphany today that being here has revealed how much I absolutely love traveling, but it's revealed an even greater passion for making my dreams come true. I think a lot of people would say that I'm working too much, but the ways I spend my time couldn't be further from what others call 'work'. It's glorious.
I spent just over a week in Northern Australia exploring the rainforest with Kyle and that was crazy awesome. I think the funniest point for me was when we were walking along a trail (that I don' t think we should have been on, judging by the 'trail closed' signs and multiple washed out bridges we scurried across) when we came upon a Cassawary.
For those out of the know, a Cassawary is a large flightless, endangered species of bird. Some adults can grow up to six feet tall. They have vibrant colors of reds, purples, and blues (I think those are the colors) on their featherless heads and necks, and have a hard, helmet-like crest of bone on their heads. They are not Emus (I lost that bet).
It was friggen AWESOME. We just looked up and there it was, just calmly and casually eating away at the forest berries. Picking them from the bushes and tossing them down their throat. It was reminiscent of watching a bar patron tossing some peanuts down in between beers.
It start walking towards us - in complete control of it's domain, it had no fear of us what so ever. That's when I started getting a little nervous.
We were just kind of talking about the bird, going back and forth as it inched towards us.
Then Kyle said it, "Oh it's not that big. I'm pretty sure I could take a bird Ryan..."
Annnnnddddd I lost it. Especially when he started reasoning out some logic about how he would take it down.
"Are you kidding me, that thing could gut you like a pig!" as I struggled between breaths trying to calm myself from my uncontrollable laughter. "They've got really sharp claws and their legs are pure muscle, gooood luck buddy..."
"Ah I could take it," he would confidently reply.
Later back at the hostel we were told how the legend himself (not me) Steve Irwin (ie. the Crocodile Hunter, bless his soul) has commented that those birds scare him more than crocodiles. You see they run at you and jump out at you with their legs and claws (or are they talons?). You don't run away because they run ridiculously fast (to put it scientifically) somewhere around 30 tooooo 60 kilometers I believe. I can't remember how fast they can run, alls I know is it's much faster than any human that I've ever heard of. Granted this would generally only happen if they're defending their young. But they can be territorial, and wild animals are after all unpredicatble. I loved it.
We saw two more of those birds after that, got some great videos and pictures of them. The second bird kind of ran off and was huge. The third bird walked right up to us, within probably five feet or so (we decided to get out of it's way once it got too close for comfort). Kyle and I both made the comment that it felt like a Raptor (the dinosaur) was bearing down on us ready to pounce. It's movements, the stealth and confidence... I don't even know, just dinosaur like in some way. A wicked awesome experience to say the least.
After the third bird passed Kyle dropped a fist sized rock on the ground chuckling to himself, "I'm not really sure what I was planning on doing with that rock..." That was funny because we thought a rock might actually help to defend us against that massive bird, we also later found out that it was an endangered species. Both satisfied that we didn't have to stone the bird to death during our pleasant little 'walk through the woods' we headed back to camp.
We also did a little vine climbing and swinging. One almost broke on Kyle which was pretty funny.
Saw a few wild Koalas as well down on Magnetic island, and some rock wallabies. I just had the realization that I'm sure reading about animals I saw is just SOOO exciting. I'm reminded of one of my nicknames when younger...
I could write a novel, but shall restrain myself for now. Life is good hear, but how is yours? You know how I'm doing, let me hear how you're doing. Pleeeeaaaaasssseeee email me to let me know, I'd love to hear what your plans are!
Boy it is trippy to think that many of my friends won't be back next year with me, but at least I've still got a few little buggers to hang out with.
For the record, that last post was an entirely hypothetical situation. Nothing happened to me, although I appreciate the concern for those who were worried, or even simply just curious as to what inspired that babble. I did however find out that it would be waaaaaaaay more dangerous for me to dive (because of my good old previously collapsed lungs) than for many other people.
Which reminds me of one of my many simple pleasures in life. I actually do appreciate my lungs having collapsed. Aside from the spiritual implications of dealing with minor health issues as such, I at times am afforded to have the HUGEST smile on my face and best feeling in my body simply by taking a huge deep breath.
It goes like this: Ryan is sitting down staring at a wall. Ryan has an idea! Ryan takes a giant, deep, gigantor breath filling and stretching his lungs to the max. Ryan holds it for just a little bit, and then breaths out. Ryan gets a huge satisfying smile plastered on his face. Ryan is content while staring at the wall, and amused that he is so grateful he doesn't have to struggle to breath.
Yup, that's the good shit.
Ahm, so my life has still been rocking. I've been reading like CRAZY. I had the epiphany today that being here has revealed how much I absolutely love traveling, but it's revealed an even greater passion for making my dreams come true. I think a lot of people would say that I'm working too much, but the ways I spend my time couldn't be further from what others call 'work'. It's glorious.
I spent just over a week in Northern Australia exploring the rainforest with Kyle and that was crazy awesome. I think the funniest point for me was when we were walking along a trail (that I don' t think we should have been on, judging by the 'trail closed' signs and multiple washed out bridges we scurried across) when we came upon a Cassawary.
For those out of the know, a Cassawary is a large flightless, endangered species of bird. Some adults can grow up to six feet tall. They have vibrant colors of reds, purples, and blues (I think those are the colors) on their featherless heads and necks, and have a hard, helmet-like crest of bone on their heads. They are not Emus (I lost that bet).
It was friggen AWESOME. We just looked up and there it was, just calmly and casually eating away at the forest berries. Picking them from the bushes and tossing them down their throat. It was reminiscent of watching a bar patron tossing some peanuts down in between beers.
It start walking towards us - in complete control of it's domain, it had no fear of us what so ever. That's when I started getting a little nervous.
We were just kind of talking about the bird, going back and forth as it inched towards us.
Then Kyle said it, "Oh it's not that big. I'm pretty sure I could take a bird Ryan..."
Annnnnddddd I lost it. Especially when he started reasoning out some logic about how he would take it down.
"Are you kidding me, that thing could gut you like a pig!" as I struggled between breaths trying to calm myself from my uncontrollable laughter. "They've got really sharp claws and their legs are pure muscle, gooood luck buddy..."
"Ah I could take it," he would confidently reply.
Later back at the hostel we were told how the legend himself (not me) Steve Irwin (ie. the Crocodile Hunter, bless his soul) has commented that those birds scare him more than crocodiles. You see they run at you and jump out at you with their legs and claws (or are they talons?). You don't run away because they run ridiculously fast (to put it scientifically) somewhere around 30 tooooo 60 kilometers I believe. I can't remember how fast they can run, alls I know is it's much faster than any human that I've ever heard of. Granted this would generally only happen if they're defending their young. But they can be territorial, and wild animals are after all unpredicatble. I loved it.
We saw two more of those birds after that, got some great videos and pictures of them. The second bird kind of ran off and was huge. The third bird walked right up to us, within probably five feet or so (we decided to get out of it's way once it got too close for comfort). Kyle and I both made the comment that it felt like a Raptor (the dinosaur) was bearing down on us ready to pounce. It's movements, the stealth and confidence... I don't even know, just dinosaur like in some way. A wicked awesome experience to say the least.
After the third bird passed Kyle dropped a fist sized rock on the ground chuckling to himself, "I'm not really sure what I was planning on doing with that rock..." That was funny because we thought a rock might actually help to defend us against that massive bird, we also later found out that it was an endangered species. Both satisfied that we didn't have to stone the bird to death during our pleasant little 'walk through the woods' we headed back to camp.
We also did a little vine climbing and swinging. One almost broke on Kyle which was pretty funny.
Saw a few wild Koalas as well down on Magnetic island, and some rock wallabies. I just had the realization that I'm sure reading about animals I saw is just SOOO exciting. I'm reminded of one of my nicknames when younger...
I could write a novel, but shall restrain myself for now. Life is good hear, but how is yours? You know how I'm doing, let me hear how you're doing. Pleeeeaaaaasssseeee email me to let me know, I'd love to hear what your plans are!
Friday, April 6, 2007
Here's the scenario...
A diver, we'll call him 'Sebastian' is slowly descending on his last open water dive for certification during a basic scuba diving class in beautiful North Eastern Australia at the Great Barrier Reef. The underwater landscape is amazing, the colors of fish and variety of species is something of a distant dream to him, to be swimming about and flying around this entirely different world.
But then something happens. He feels something weird in his chest. It doesn't hurt, just a weird sensation, a pressure that he hasn't felt in a very long time.
"Ah shit" says Sebastian, "I hope that's not what I think it is." He continues along trying his best not to think himself into some pointless panic. "It's nothing, just in my head... golly gee what an amazing experience I'm having here."
That's not the end of it though. That weird sensation is still with Sebastian. He thinks it might be getting a bit more difficult to breath. No it's definately more difficult to breath. Sebastian has to get out. Now. But he can't get out. He's screwed himself.
"Why in the living hell did I lie on my medical exam? It didn't seem like that big of a deal... I've got to do something, I can't just stay here. Maybe I can make it, shit what should I do..." Sebastion's heart is racing. But it's not all due to his anxiety. It's the pressure in his chest. The growing discomfort he's feeling is that faint image of the grim reaper creeping towards him. Slowly. "I can risk it, or I can stay here and suffer. Shit shit shit. I'm ok. No I'm not I'm going to drown, because of too much fricking air nonetheless..."
As seconds and minutes tick by Sebastian's heart beats harder and harder as his lung is smashed against it, his lungs struggle for deeper breaths, all the while more air is seeping into his chest cavity; trapped with no exit beyond that which a scalpel can provide.
Sebastian decides to act, "Well it's been real. Thank you Lord for all of the blessings you've given me in my life. Take care of my family." With that he begins his assention - is it possible to sweat underwater? With each inch he climbs Sebastian can feel his life slipping away. The pressurized oxygen has no where to go inside his chest cavity. Quickly the pressure builds to a point that stops his heart. No more breathing. No more beating. Sebastian's body floats lifeless in a vast sea that did everything for his life but swallow it up - his own arrogance did that for him.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Radical Ryno has a new found interest in the wild wacky world of snorkeling! But hold on to your seats, that's not all! He might even get good at holding his breath for a really really really long time underwater! Yes, that's right, you're looking at the next world champion breath holder here people, collapsed lung or not... Rock!
But then something happens. He feels something weird in his chest. It doesn't hurt, just a weird sensation, a pressure that he hasn't felt in a very long time.
"Ah shit" says Sebastian, "I hope that's not what I think it is." He continues along trying his best not to think himself into some pointless panic. "It's nothing, just in my head... golly gee what an amazing experience I'm having here."
That's not the end of it though. That weird sensation is still with Sebastian. He thinks it might be getting a bit more difficult to breath. No it's definately more difficult to breath. Sebastian has to get out. Now. But he can't get out. He's screwed himself.
"Why in the living hell did I lie on my medical exam? It didn't seem like that big of a deal... I've got to do something, I can't just stay here. Maybe I can make it, shit what should I do..." Sebastion's heart is racing. But it's not all due to his anxiety. It's the pressure in his chest. The growing discomfort he's feeling is that faint image of the grim reaper creeping towards him. Slowly. "I can risk it, or I can stay here and suffer. Shit shit shit. I'm ok. No I'm not I'm going to drown, because of too much fricking air nonetheless..."
As seconds and minutes tick by Sebastian's heart beats harder and harder as his lung is smashed against it, his lungs struggle for deeper breaths, all the while more air is seeping into his chest cavity; trapped with no exit beyond that which a scalpel can provide.
Sebastian decides to act, "Well it's been real. Thank you Lord for all of the blessings you've given me in my life. Take care of my family." With that he begins his assention - is it possible to sweat underwater? With each inch he climbs Sebastian can feel his life slipping away. The pressurized oxygen has no where to go inside his chest cavity. Quickly the pressure builds to a point that stops his heart. No more breathing. No more beating. Sebastian's body floats lifeless in a vast sea that did everything for his life but swallow it up - his own arrogance did that for him.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Radical Ryno has a new found interest in the wild wacky world of snorkeling! But hold on to your seats, that's not all! He might even get good at holding his breath for a really really really long time underwater! Yes, that's right, you're looking at the next world champion breath holder here people, collapsed lung or not... Rock!
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
I saw the biggest photo of a Rhino yesterday...
Wowie. What a crazily wonderful and exciting past couple of weeks. I've got some great inspiration for some... things I'm working on. My buddy Kyle is here from AuGres. That's a long friggen ways away from home to be adventuring around and to say the least it's pretty cool. He eats a lot, but he's been a well-behaved buddy, almost like a pet Pug or something, makes me chuckle. OR A PET SHITZU! Ga ha!... I hope he reads this sometime. Funny guy. Not to mention the fact that he's been the entire reason I've even SURVIVED and have been able to EAT for the past week and a half, but more on that later.
Went to the Blue Mountains this past weekend and it was ROCKIN sweet. We did a Grand Canyon walk which was wicked awesome, and my feet are paying for it but oh so totally worth it. We went camping; I found a 12-dollar sleeping bag and 25-dollar tent that are like little pieces of heaven rolled up on my 500-pound backpack... I still haven't learned how to pack for a few days. We spent the whole day (literally from 9 am till past dark) lugging all of our food and camping shtuff around because we didn't have a CLUE (or money) as to where we were staying. But we made the most of it... mostly by eating spaghetti and baked beans from a can. Classy. And then we found our friends and had a morning view from the top of a cliff. Wonderful. I should really work on learning how to put pictures up here.
Also came across the coolest little hostel while there. I'll likely bring Pooty, or as some people know him as, PatMan, there when he comes to visit. I'm a pretty lucky dude I've got to admit. I'm on the other side of the world but I don't feel lonely at all because of the people that are coming to visit and the friends that are keeping in touch. So blessed. I met some random girl from Grand Valley whilst in Wexford Falls on the edge of a treacherous cliff this weekend as well. That's always a pleasant time to meet someone from home.
Yeah so this weekend Kyle and I are going to spend a week up north in Cairns exploring the rainforest and swimming among the Great Barrier Reef. And just getting rowdy in general. As a side note I'm amazed at the stigma Americans have for partying here. I say I'm going on spring break next week and people get all mystified about the "American Spring Break” I’ve also been grilled about whether our parties are really always like those frat parties we see on movie. I had to be honest and tell them the ones I go to always are (for obvious reasons). To be truthful, I don't think it's really a flattering thing that our party habits are viewed that way. Even though I'm sure - WHOA. I just realized I'm culturally identifying with a group of people. That's never really happened - to my knowledge before. On all of those psychology questionnaires I'm generally completely clueless when it comes to what those sorts of questions mean... hmm. Ok that was weird and I'm gonna go read another book (I'm on my fourth one in over a month and its a GOODIE).
Oh, another note that I challenge any takers to give a go at is setting 30-day goals to form new habits. You see it has to do with this study done at NASA, but never mind that. Give it a try; I'm enjoying the process quite a lot.
Went to the Blue Mountains this past weekend and it was ROCKIN sweet. We did a Grand Canyon walk which was wicked awesome, and my feet are paying for it but oh so totally worth it. We went camping; I found a 12-dollar sleeping bag and 25-dollar tent that are like little pieces of heaven rolled up on my 500-pound backpack... I still haven't learned how to pack for a few days. We spent the whole day (literally from 9 am till past dark) lugging all of our food and camping shtuff around because we didn't have a CLUE (or money) as to where we were staying. But we made the most of it... mostly by eating spaghetti and baked beans from a can. Classy. And then we found our friends and had a morning view from the top of a cliff. Wonderful. I should really work on learning how to put pictures up here.
Also came across the coolest little hostel while there. I'll likely bring Pooty, or as some people know him as, PatMan, there when he comes to visit. I'm a pretty lucky dude I've got to admit. I'm on the other side of the world but I don't feel lonely at all because of the people that are coming to visit and the friends that are keeping in touch. So blessed. I met some random girl from Grand Valley whilst in Wexford Falls on the edge of a treacherous cliff this weekend as well. That's always a pleasant time to meet someone from home.
Yeah so this weekend Kyle and I are going to spend a week up north in Cairns exploring the rainforest and swimming among the Great Barrier Reef. And just getting rowdy in general. As a side note I'm amazed at the stigma Americans have for partying here. I say I'm going on spring break next week and people get all mystified about the "American Spring Break” I’ve also been grilled about whether our parties are really always like those frat parties we see on movie. I had to be honest and tell them the ones I go to always are (for obvious reasons). To be truthful, I don't think it's really a flattering thing that our party habits are viewed that way. Even though I'm sure - WHOA. I just realized I'm culturally identifying with a group of people. That's never really happened - to my knowledge before. On all of those psychology questionnaires I'm generally completely clueless when it comes to what those sorts of questions mean... hmm. Ok that was weird and I'm gonna go read another book (I'm on my fourth one in over a month and its a GOODIE).
Oh, another note that I challenge any takers to give a go at is setting 30-day goals to form new habits. You see it has to do with this study done at NASA, but never mind that. Give it a try; I'm enjoying the process quite a lot.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Today not Tomorrow
I just took a risk. I am AMAZED at the fact that it is one of the more scary things I've done in my recent past. Right now I'm feeling like it was the scariest thing I've ever done, and all I did was just ask for a little help, from people that really inspire me nonetheless. A little advice, some thoughts, nothing huge. In all reality it's something I could have avoided and figured out on my own. But now people know that I'm serious. Just one small beginning can change alot, yet so often I've found myself putting things off making various excuses and just copping out on some level that leads me astray. Boy I wonder where this new intention of mine is going to take me. I feel an odd mixture of courage and fear in me right now. I need to post the "Rules for Living on the Edge" on here sometime. DING! I just got an idea. Cheers to being radical...
Monday, March 19, 2007
I may have just realized a new theme
I feel good right now. I feel damn good. I feel great. I've got a ton of energy. I wasn't going to hop right onto the internet to type away on my blog, but I felt inspired to because too often I let these sorts of feelings pass by without actually stopping to contemplate and and on some level SHARE where I'm at in life.
One of the prevailing themes so far during my travels is this: You never know when, but there are certain occasions when we meet one person, or have some small conversation, or partake in some new experience, that can completely send your world in a different direction. Maybe you meet your future wife, or soon to be multi-millionaire business partner, or simply a friend for life. Maybe you are graced with some new brilliant idea. Who really knows what can happen? One thing I do know for sure, is that the more you put yourself out there, the more you go past your comfort zone - even in super small ways - you bring yourself more into alignment with the excitment that is life, and the more you attract great things to you. With a little patience you gain a better understanding of the cyclical nature to our days and weeks, the ebb and flow, and you gain a supreme gratitude for the unique being you really are.
I just got out of what I feel to be. Wow, and what a revelation, stay with me here I'm thinking as I type (or is it typing as I think? Or the chicken before the egg, or...?) I just got out of a ten minute meeting which I think just changed my life. Of course it didn't really "change" it because it's a path I've been on, but hot damn! I just talked with one of my professors here and it finally happened. I got a 'lead', I got some more direction, I have finally recieved some guidance to pursue the areas I'm REALLY interested in. Ok let's be honest. I've gotten alot of guidance before. We all have. From our parents, friends, family, God, the Universe, its all the same. Thing is sometimes this guidance screams at you and sometimes you've just got to trust your gut, sometimes you've just got to deal with the rain before you can appreciate the sunshine.
Maybe I'm reading too much into this ten minute experience that I just got out of, but I don't care. I can't NOT read too much into it. I wasn't going to go, had no strong aspirations to do it, didn't really seem like a great use of my time, but I scheduled the meeting, and I've learned that diligence and integrity can open up some pretty amazing doors. I haven't done any further research on the things we talked about because... well because I'm on here, but the point right now isn't about what's next, it's about me finally getting some affirmation from the world that I really truely wooly (as my philosophy professor would say) am pursuing one of my many passions.
The past few days I had been in one of those moods. One of those "I'm grateful I'm in Australia and having a great time but maybe I'm not really 'doing it' in the right way" kinda moods. Problem was I had started to compare my own self to everyone and everything around me. I'm usually really good at just living my own life for the happiness that I find, but every so often we slip. I started wondering if I should be out partying more, if all of this work and self - inquiry, as rewarding as it has been, was really worth it - why bother spending time on creating the life I want? No one else seems to be doing it. But that's why what I'm doing is working. Because no one else is doing it. And I'm not making judgements about how anyone else lives their life, more power to them for the decisions they make. I just needed take a second and remind myself that I'm a freakin superhero, and I'm 'doing EVERYTHING right'.
People just don't do that enough. You should try it sometime, give yourself a little credit. It feels pretty darn good (and if it doesn't right away keep practicing and you'll have that 'winning feeling' in no time...)
Cheers to you and MacBeth, which I'm going to see at the Opera House tonight. Rockin.
One of the prevailing themes so far during my travels is this: You never know when, but there are certain occasions when we meet one person, or have some small conversation, or partake in some new experience, that can completely send your world in a different direction. Maybe you meet your future wife, or soon to be multi-millionaire business partner, or simply a friend for life. Maybe you are graced with some new brilliant idea. Who really knows what can happen? One thing I do know for sure, is that the more you put yourself out there, the more you go past your comfort zone - even in super small ways - you bring yourself more into alignment with the excitment that is life, and the more you attract great things to you. With a little patience you gain a better understanding of the cyclical nature to our days and weeks, the ebb and flow, and you gain a supreme gratitude for the unique being you really are.
I just got out of what I feel to be. Wow, and what a revelation, stay with me here I'm thinking as I type (or is it typing as I think? Or the chicken before the egg, or...?) I just got out of a ten minute meeting which I think just changed my life. Of course it didn't really "change" it because it's a path I've been on, but hot damn! I just talked with one of my professors here and it finally happened. I got a 'lead', I got some more direction, I have finally recieved some guidance to pursue the areas I'm REALLY interested in. Ok let's be honest. I've gotten alot of guidance before. We all have. From our parents, friends, family, God, the Universe, its all the same. Thing is sometimes this guidance screams at you and sometimes you've just got to trust your gut, sometimes you've just got to deal with the rain before you can appreciate the sunshine.
Maybe I'm reading too much into this ten minute experience that I just got out of, but I don't care. I can't NOT read too much into it. I wasn't going to go, had no strong aspirations to do it, didn't really seem like a great use of my time, but I scheduled the meeting, and I've learned that diligence and integrity can open up some pretty amazing doors. I haven't done any further research on the things we talked about because... well because I'm on here, but the point right now isn't about what's next, it's about me finally getting some affirmation from the world that I really truely wooly (as my philosophy professor would say) am pursuing one of my many passions.
The past few days I had been in one of those moods. One of those "I'm grateful I'm in Australia and having a great time but maybe I'm not really 'doing it' in the right way" kinda moods. Problem was I had started to compare my own self to everyone and everything around me. I'm usually really good at just living my own life for the happiness that I find, but every so often we slip. I started wondering if I should be out partying more, if all of this work and self - inquiry, as rewarding as it has been, was really worth it - why bother spending time on creating the life I want? No one else seems to be doing it. But that's why what I'm doing is working. Because no one else is doing it. And I'm not making judgements about how anyone else lives their life, more power to them for the decisions they make. I just needed take a second and remind myself that I'm a freakin superhero, and I'm 'doing EVERYTHING right'.
People just don't do that enough. You should try it sometime, give yourself a little credit. It feels pretty darn good (and if it doesn't right away keep practicing and you'll have that 'winning feeling' in no time...)
Cheers to you and MacBeth, which I'm going to see at the Opera House tonight. Rockin.
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